The Hard Seasons of Motherhood

Motherhood is a tremendous gift.

I have been blessed with six wonderful children and five grandchildren. Now that my children have their own children, anytime our family gets together, my heart overflows with gratitude.

One of my favorite things about our current family dynamic is how lively the conversations are around our family table. There are differing political views, unique perspectives, laughing at inside jokes, and a bonding that blesses me completely. Our gatherings remind me of what heaven will look like one day. And while there has been an overabundance of great times, there have also been times of struggle.

You see, motherhood isn’t just dreamy glances at your newborn and calm, enjoyable conversations all the time. There are tears, frustrations, and many prayers being uttered at all times of every day. Motherhood heavily relies on the grace, mercy, and power of Jesus.

Like any relationship, motherhood is multifaceted and complicated. But even so, God is still faithful. As we draw near to Mother’s Day, let’s consider the prevalent layers of motherhood and how they impact our lives and those around us.

What Does It Mean To Be a Mother?

Stepping into the role of a mother is more than just a status change. It has an impact physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

We encourage our young children through many developmental stages, from taking their first steps to learning how to write their names, and even as they become teenagers and experience hormonal changes. (Thank you, Lord, for your unending grace and wisdom!)

We help our children navigate big emotions and help them process why things hurt their hearts. Together, we process each painful circumstance heard about in the world and help them reconcile that to a God that is in control.

Most importantly, we are their guides and teachers as we help them grow spiritually and apply the Truth of God to every season of their lives. When we step into our calling to be an example of what it means to trust God, we are showing our children who they can call on when things feel impossible and why they can trust the One they are to love with their heart, soul, mind, and strength.

In the Waiting

But what if you are a woman who has been praying relentlessly for a child, only to be still waiting for God to answer that prayer?

Know that the God of the universe sees every tear you have cried, hears every exasperated cry, and knows the desire of your heart. He knows the pain you are walking through and the frustration that may be clouding your heart. And even in the waiting, He is faithful. Hold fast to the hope of the not-yet.

Jesus has not forsaken you, and He never will.

How to Navigate a Broken Relationship With Your Own Mother

As moms, we know that not every parent-child relationship is a good one. But we must remember that who we are born to and whether they do good things or bad things to us does not and will not ever hinder God’s purpose for our lives. We serve a God who is sovereign and in control of all aspects of the world. If you experienced or are currently experiencing pain in your relationship with your mom, be encouraged. God’s best for you still remains!

Secondly, we are called to respect and love our moms. Now, I know this part may be difficult, but it can be done. Matthew 22 says the ultimate commandment is to love God and love our neighbor as ourselves. If God calls us to a standard, He will equip us in every good and perfect way.

When Oprah Winfrey’s mother was in hospice, she struggled with how to say what she needed to in a way that was honoring to her mother. Instead of telling her mom all of the ways she failed as a mother, she chose compassion and honor. She said,

“Thank you. Thank you, because I know it’s been hard for you. It was hard for you as a young girl having a baby, in Mississippi. No education. No training. No skills. Seventeen, you get pregnant with this baby. Lots of people would have told you to give that baby away. Lots of people would’ve told you to abort that baby. You didn’t do that. I know that was hard. I want you to know that no matter what, I know that you always did the best you knew how to do. And look how it turned out.”

God knows who He handcrafted to be your mom, and just as He is faithful in using your painful experiences to do great things for His kingdom, He too will do the same through your mother.

And just like Oprah, even if you have the worst relationship with your mom, it won’t hinder God from shaping you into who He wants you to be.

Surrender in Motherhood

If there is one thing I can say with certainty, it is that watching my children endure hardships is one of the most painful things about motherhood. One of the challenges I have faced as a mom is separating my life experiences from those my children will experience.

Because we have learned many things over the course of our lives, we have the distinct ability to see the trainwreck ahead and identify the possible detours for our children to take. However, anytime we partner with this kind of fear, we strip away the opportunity for our children to learn powerful life lessons that will equip them for the future.

Fellow mom, may we be women who fervently hold to the sovereignty of God, especially when it comes to the choices and decisions of our children. Be encouraged; God didn’t allow our past circumstances to overtake us (we came out alright, right?), and He is faithful to cover our children as well. May we remember to surrender our children to the One who knows them best.

Motherhood is an evolving journey. It truly is the hardest job there is! Whether you work full-time or are a stay-at-home mom, the responsibilities on your plate are numerous. With daily homework, meal planning, paying bills, and making sure you are available to be present to your family, you are impacting every aspect of family life.

Don’t beat yourself up. God will give you grace to be the best mom you can be. And as you invite Him into this space, He is faithful to restore, heal, and equip you to be a reflection of Christ as you guide your children to do the same.

A Mother’s Day Prayer

Lord, we love You and thank You for Your immense goodness to us. Thank You for making us mothers, whether biologically or spiritually, and we ask that You would meet us right where we are. Meet us in the messy playrooms, the middle-of-the-night feedings, around our dinner tables, and in the doorframes of our teenagers' bedrooms as we cover them in prayer after they have drifted to sleep.

Give us the grace we need and the ability to stand on your faithfulness in all things. God, we know you have called us here for such a time as this. We surrender every fear, doubt, and struggle to You. Give us the strength to complete every task you have placed before us. Encourage our weary hearts, strengthen our minds and bodies, and help us to keep our eyes locked on Your Son, Jesus Christ. We invite You into our sacred spaces and ask that You remain the Lord of our lives, helping us on this holy journey of motherhood. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Moms, are you looking for support on this journey of motherhood? If so, I invite you to join the waitlist for ARISE Mentoring. For more information, click here.